Rum, Sodomy & The Lash ...

My three-year-old nephew - a notoriously fussy eater - sat at the dining table.

"I don't think you'll like that sweetheart," I said, as he reached for the Thai chilli sauce and made to pour it all over his plate of food.

"I've had it before," he said airily.

"Oh? When?"

"When I was in jail," he said.

Fair enough.